Thursday, March 5, 2009

Love Story: The Beginning pt. 1

Sometimes I sit and think about how much I've changed these past few years. I wasn't always this way. I am naturally a very quiet, mild, meek individual. Since I was a child I have always had a sense of humor that radiated through my quiet shell. I don't know if you follow my blog or not, but I am a gay man. But this isn't about where I am this story is about my past and my evolution. I'm leaving Florida in a couple of months so I think this will be my form of closure as I start a new chapter in my life. It is a sad story, but I think the message is very clear and true. Enjoy!


I'm going to start with the fall of my sophomore year of college.

I had a girlfriend once. A Ms. Darlene Harris, beautiful girl Hershey brown with this long beautiful hair. We were so similar (and still are) that it's not surprising we meshed so well. We separated by distance I was in Florida and she was in North Carolina. That fall she decided to visit me. When she told me my heart kind of skipped a beat. Of course I missed her but I also knew that certain things were expected, sexual things. Darlene and I were not very physical which was my choice; even though I had not been involved with boys at this point I sure as hell knew I wasn't going to be physical with a girl. She came toward the end of October if I the beginning of October if I recall. That same weekend I had bought a large metal piece of shit car, my first. It was a great weekend! I introduced her to my friends from West Palm Beach (more on them later). Of course we slept in the same bed. Nothing happened. Super awkward, but we drank and had fun. I still remember the day she left on the shuttle and I tried to kiss her and I couldn't out of embarrassment so I fumbled around with my mouth and aimed my lips in her general direction. When she got home she asked me why I didn't initiate any thing and I replied, "Why didn't you?" with my smart mouth. And then she said, "I thought you were gay". I know it's strange but that kind of hurt because even if you're gay, and you know when you're gay, when someone implies that you are, there is a pain that hits your gut because you try so hard to conform that when someone sees through your guise it rattles your reality. We left it at that and continued "talking" but I don't think either of us knew what for.

While all this was going on there was an event that I planned on auditioning for called fashion exclusive? A fashion show. I was trying to become more involved that semester and I did. I met most of my current friends at this time. I knew I was going to make the show. I'm cute and I have this swag. It might be a lazy swag but it's a swag a lot of boys in Florida don't possess. This is where I met Deon and Angelo.


I live for these lil' broads. I finally got my DVD and I'm ecstatic! I plan on watching the entire series when I get back to Florida. It's SIX DOUBLE SIDED DVD'S like who does that?

Talking to my Friends

My bff hit me up today and was a little upset about a former flame trying to holla at one of his friends. Now the boy in question has already tried to holla at me but to no avail(I don't think he's that attractive).At first I didn't understand why my friend was mad but, as the conversation progressed and he listed off all the boys I was like yea this boy is using your friend list as a damn dating site. I don't mind friends overlapping but damn there should be a limit. Like when is enough enough? I suggested he go whoop his ass (verbally). What would you do if your ex was trying to run through your friends?

On the Plane

This is a shaky ass flight so if I go down and they find this laptop, I love y'all! Seriously though I'm having fun with this blog thing. It's a nice little escape and it centers me which is good because I'm a mess inside and out. I want to thank everyone that ever came here, left a comment, clicked a link, or supported Me and Alfie in anyway. I don't even know what I'm doing with this thing but I feel like I'm learning everyday and I thank God for this outlet in my life. Much love!

New Jersey is Cold

I'm so scared to step outside. I have absolutely zero winter clothes. My mother is gone on vacation and she left me in this cold ass house. I have dates! I can't be cold and shivering I'm too cute for all that.

Stuck at the Damn Airport

I am an out of state college student. I travel a lot between New Jersey, my hometown, and Florida, my school. 9/10 my aunt schedules my flight because she works for the airport. I've never had trouble with this arrangement until last night when I arrived to a dark, EMPTY Jacksonville airport. First of all I didn't know airports closed. Second why did I call my aunt and tell her there was no flight going out and her response was of course "let me check" followed by "oh shit, I scheduled the wrong flight, you mad?" I could never be mad at my aunts they're amazing, but for like 2 seconds I wanted bite her in the uvula. I ended up at this hotel last night exploring myself. I really needed that money ugh!