Thursday, April 2, 2009

Feeling Down

School is winding down and I'm feeling a tad bit depressed. I pin pointed it yesterday after I got a rejection letter from Rutgers and I got a worried for my future. I'm telling yall this shit could have been in a movie. There were 2 or 3 beautiful tears and that's it. I sucked it up though and hopped on the bus and headed to the library. I've been through so much these past 4 years in some ways it feels like it's amounted to nothing and in others I feel like it's been the most liberating experience. I don't know how to feel. I know I'll be alright I'm too close to my goal to ever fall into obscurity but I'm scared in so many ways.

0 Tolerance

I've been drinking a lot lately. Coolers and beer but I feel like that shit add up. I need to institute a 0 tolerance policy with liquor. I'm trying to live yo. I feel something in me that needs to come out. A better person? A stronger person? I hate finding comfort in liquor very weak. It wasn't a bad week because I feel very blessed but I was having these mini moments all week. Lawd help us all!