Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Thanks John!

I want to thank John again for an amazing Easter. I needed to get out of that city so bad and the food hit the spot in every way! LoLz

A Quiet Place

I feel like I have wasted four years of my life. College has been a very lonely experience. Since my freshman year I have felt very lonely and not at all true to myself. I have met some amazing people here and I wouldn't change that for anything. What I would change is my pride. I always felt that things would just fall in place for me and they haven't. I'm not good at too many things. I don't play sports, dance, sing, or do much of anything besides be smart. I'm a smart person but I feel that my intelligence has deteriorated these past four years. I struggle with my faith daily. I wanted to leave this place a man, but I'm leaving the same boy I was in high school. I find myself sleeping all day just to escape. I distract myself with the matrix of the internet and when I'm not doing anything at all I sit and cry.

Fucking pitiful

Purgatory, this is where I reside. It's so strange. My life is going well I can't complain about a damn thing my family right, STILL celibate, this is probably my best semester at UF, but It's also my last and I feel really sad about that. I know I am meant for great things. I have all the tools to become the man I am meant to become. The first half of 2009 has been a mix of purging and enlightenment. I have NEVER felt so lost and out of tune with myself but even still I am residing in harmony, a very quiet place.