I want to thank John again for an amazing Easter. I needed to get out of that city so bad and the food hit the spot in every way! LoLz
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8 years ago
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A Quiet Place
I feel like I have wasted four years of my life. College has been a very lonely experience. Since my freshman year I have felt very lonely and not at all true to myself. I have met some amazing people here and I wouldn't change that for anything. What I would change is my pride. I always felt that things would just fall in place for me and they haven't. I'm not good at too many things. I don't play sports, dance, sing, or do much of anything besides be smart. I'm a smart person but I feel that my intelligence has deteriorated these past four years. I struggle with my faith daily. I wanted to leave this place a man, but I'm leaving the same boy I was in high school. I find myself sleeping all day just to escape. I distract myself with the matrix of the internet and when I'm not doing anything at all I sit and cry.
Fucking pitiful
Purgatory, this is where I reside. It's so strange. My life is going well I can't complain about a damn thing my family right, STILL celibate, this is probably my best semester at UF, but It's also my last and I feel really sad about that. I know I am meant for great things. I have all the tools to become the man I am meant to become. The first half of 2009 has been a mix of purging and enlightenment. I have NEVER felt so lost and out of tune with myself but even still I am residing in harmony, a very quiet place.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Religion is a Hell of a Drug
I haven't been to church in like 2 years outside of funerals. It was a very powerful experience. I feel my religious side dwindling sometimes and I hate that. Ijust feel there are a lot of things that interfere with my belief. I just think its life and growing up. The world is very tempting but I keep my morals and values first, most of the time. I really enjoyed myself today, thanks John!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Mighty Morphin Manslaughter!
LATEST: Former MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGER SKYLAR DELEON will face a death sentence if the members of a jury in a triple murder case get their way.
Last month (Oct08), Deleon, a former child actor who appeared on the popular kids' TV series, was convicted of murdering three people, including a couple who were tied to an anchor and thrown from their yacht.
And now the jury in the case want the 29-year-old actor to pay for his crimes with his life.
Deleon's attorney, Gary Pohlson, argues his client should not be put to death.
He says, "Skylar is guilty of all three murders, (but) at the end of this, I'm going to ask you to give him life without the possibility of parole as the appropriate sentence."
The lawyer cited Deleon's "horrible, horrible life," and noted he was allegedly abused as child by his father, who eventually died of AIDS.
Deleon will learn of his sentence next Wednesday (12Nov08).
http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/jury%20recommends%20death%20sentence%20for%20power%20ranger_1085934]JURY RECOMMENDS DEATH SENTENCE FOR POWER RANGER
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Networking: CUZILUVIT
Welcome To Because I Love It (CuzILuvIt). You're #1 source for music and pop culture updates. Feel free to download as you please, just don't forget to spread the word!
He cool peeps y'all check it out!
They Rap and Model!
Kid Cudi, Lupe Fiasco, Tha Cool Kids, and bunch of other emo rappers model some spring/summer fashion trends.
I Got That!
Don't you love them "I Got That" songs? It's something about embracing someone else's delusions about their sexual or social superiority. I think everyone in alive "got that" something. That's what makes us special. Like me I got that Snap Crackle Pop! Loll I'm bout to write that down. What do you "got"?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Cheaters!
Have you ever cheated on someone intentionally? I cheated once and I took it kind of hard today I was thinking if it was intentional or not. People know right from wrong and while I was pissy drunk but that is never an excuse. When you cheat on someone you're just asking for trouble but when you don't care there really is no risk involved. Now I've been cheated on countless times I'm still waiting to exhale. I feel like even though you can cheat doesn't mean you should. Shit, my shit is exclusive! I always tell friends why cheat just leave but every circumstance is different I know I've been there.
Computer Love
I find it so fascinating that we can completely be infatuated with someone that we never met. This digital age is crazy because family friends and love can all be found on the internet. It steal seems taboo though. My mom thinks I just meet strangers on the internet and go to their house. Which is not the case it's been done but it's not the norm. Its computer love!
With that mentioned here's a song that fits this post perfectly.
Lil' Kim - Download
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Love Story: The Beginning 3.1
I'm breaking part 3 in 2 parts
If this relationship was a rollercoaster then this is the part where the seatbelt would break and I would be going around the loopty loop hanging on for dear life. Spring 07 is when it got bad to the point I completely lost who I was as a person. I just remember sex with CW and me chasing him around the south east. He was living with me at the time and I was working at one point 2 jobs in school I lost my God father and great grandmother at this point. I've lost a lot of important people since I've been in college. Too many funerals, but I guess that's apart of getting older. After I came back from my godfather's funerals things began to change. CW announced he was moving to ATL (Red Flag!). I was a hurt, shocked, and confused by his departure but we decided to stay together and have a long distance relationship. It didn't take long for the messages, text, and rumors to flood in. boys from all over were getting in contact with me about this nigga. My dumbass ignored it all. CW would come back every once in a while for fraternity events never to see me. All the while I'm getting closer to ML. ML was a good friend through all this. Kept me grounded but I always felt CW and ML messed around over winter break. I was putting all my trust in CW and ML losing myself in the process. I'm dealing with all this gay dramatics and still playing straight. It's a very strange thing and in a way it splits your personality to the point you don't even know who you are anymore. At the same time I felt very liberated.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Feeling Down
School is winding down and I'm feeling a tad bit depressed. I pin pointed it yesterday after I got a rejection letter from Rutgers and I got a worried for my future. I'm telling yall this shit could have been in a movie. There were 2 or 3 beautiful tears and that's it. I sucked it up though and hopped on the bus and headed to the library. I've been through so much these past 4 years in some ways it feels like it's amounted to nothing and in others I feel like it's been the most liberating experience. I don't know how to feel. I know I'll be alright I'm too close to my goal to ever fall into obscurity but I'm scared in so many ways.
0 Tolerance
I've been drinking a lot lately. Coolers and beer but I feel like that shit add up. I need to institute a 0 tolerance policy with liquor. I'm trying to live yo. I feel something in me that needs to come out. A better person? A stronger person? I hate finding comfort in liquor very weak. It wasn't a bad week because I feel very blessed but I was having these mini moments all week. Lawd help us all!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Trigger
Put your hands around it
Feel that smith and western cold steel
This aint no bb this shit is real
Kind of heavy 4lbs turn the safety off
If you hit the bulls eye I'm gone take it off
Cock it back, aim steady, now you locked and loaded
Don't be scared….
Pull the Trigger
Going pound for pound
Heavy hitter
Ooo I love the sound of that trigger
Click click pull that trigger
This bullet proof vest got me cocky
Hollow points coming strong but they can't stop me
You got me ducking dodging weaving like the matrix
Slow motion, don't shoot another round or I'll hit the pavement
Pull the Trigger
Going pound for pound
Heavy hitter
Oyo I love the sound of that trigger
Click click pull that trigger
Mmm spray that Uzi it crazy how this going
Shoot gun barrel make sure no one else around
He said he shoot if I ever let this thing out
Bang bang, bullets hurting you a heavy hitter
Don't stop keep squeezing on that trigger
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